mONApulation

i wish i have the power to "manipulate"
people for my own benefit.
i have seen men and women give a couple of their sweet smiles
and sexy bedroom voice to charm people.
these harmless "pa-cute" effect made their lives easier.
i do not think it is bad at all.
if you want things to be done your way
without making people hate you,
this tactic work best.

i want to learn this.

they say it's not about good looks.
it's really about making your pleasant aura do the job.
oh well, but since i am still planning to master the idea in my head,
bullying and pushing people around is enough for me- for now.
( insert evil laughter)

beating the red light

two-hundred kilometers per hour.
your foot on the gas gear.
we are approaching the intersection now.
you are much faster...
i can see the yellow signal now.
i see you like a mirage fading.
will i cross it or not?
will i make it before the red light?
i step on the breaks
and made it to a full stop.
i cannot catch up with your pace...
you are always fleeting.

sleep and walk

i do not remember if there were more than one blog that is about
my lack of sleep or i just can't doze off at all.
but last week was different, it was the second time that i sleep walked.
the first time was a friend was sharing a bed with me.
i only woke up when she said: ona, what are you doing?
i do not remember how long i have been sitting there with my eyes closed.
the next one was more eerie.
i dreamt about waking up and folding my blanket.
and when i woke up,to my horror,
my blanket is perfectly folded beside me.
i then told about it to my sister, she finds it weird and scary
and will now lock her door at night.
i got myself frightened too.
what else am i capable of doing?
i texted my friends, one replied: you freak!
two said that i should lock my door, one said that she will read up on
sleep walking to help me, two said it's normal if i'm too tired,
and the most interesting was "you should cook or clean the house while sleeping
so that chores are done when you wake up".
another one kid that night that i might steal his laptop while he sleeps.
oh well, i do not know what i am capable of doing while sleep walking
and i do wish that it will never happen again.

artsy friday night!

my friends are watching. sana lang makaabot ako.hehehe!

BASQUIAT

ONAnization

I am starting the year of the Rat
with more organization.
starting with my room, of course.
But I am not really making a vast improvement
right away. one at a time.
little by little.

aside from my abode,
i am stretching to make an effort to sort out my
computer files.
funny how i named them
like cam whoring and blog pics,
viscomm files,
the ex files,artsy shots..
i have yet to think about other names to
sort them out.
i stumble upon a letter
of a former boyfriend that made me cry.
well,you all know that I cry for any possible reason.
but this particular letter really did.
Now I believe that what he wrote really came from the heart.
I am almost tempted to post his letter. ahaha!
Now, that would be bad right?
or not? let me think again. tutal break na naman kami.
Looking back at memories can do something good
and well, bad in some ways.
but sometimes, trash is trash and can never be recycled into something nice.

RICE GURL'S ANNIVERSARY

oh my!one year na pala akong blogger!
february 3 was my first blog post.
well, happy anniversary to me.
i am posting these delectable food
as my virtual handa. kain na!hehehe!

cheater reader

have you ever cheated on finding out
the ending of the story first
before finishing the book?

i have commited that " crime" this morning.
well, this is my first time to commit this grave sin.
i felt guilty for the author.
she wrote an interesting plot, really in the now lines,
steven tyler as a character,a gay guy as bestfriend
and a lingerie sales girl as the star.
so what's bad about it?
well, the thing is, i am on the one-hundredth page already
i just felt frustrated on who will she end up with.
it has too many characters that i felt anxious about it.
what's it going to be???
but luckily, it has a nice ending.
well, it is sort of a romantic but quite serious novel.
huh? what did i just say?
hey author, strangle me.

what are other books that i haven't finished yet
for the longest time already?
hmmm..there's human bondage by maugham
and the bell jar by sylvia plath.
but i am not tempted to look at the ending.
well, the thing is, the books that i have mentioned
has really sad stories from authors whom well, led a sad life.
my defense: i want to absorb more and ponder on
what were they trying to point out and maybe suffer.
instead of reading the ending and just finding out that
living and existence has no point and that happiness is crap.
uhm, i really don't know yet.
since plath killed herself
and that maugham grew up living miserable with his relatives.
come on, these are classics.sad. high art.
darn, now i remember the stranger by camus.
it's even more dark. but i don't really know
if albert camus was as miserable as sylvia.
you have to admit that what is true to you
is your inspiration.
i asked my professor in film class once
if it is possible for a director to make such a film
that he really doesn't believe in.
example, if a director is an aetheist
but is making a film about miracles of a certain religion.
he said that it would be interesting and it falls under the
category of constructivism in art in which i will not discuss.haha.
he only said that directors are usually believers of their craft.
oh well, this is laid back sunday.
i can say that this day has a really nice ending.

emONA mode

endurance is my word for this week.
i am not complaining about work.
work is work.
i just wish my body can endure long hours of work.
my mind is a mess right now.
i am so in emo mode.
i'm so tired....
darn, this blog is toxic.
____________________________________________

let me retrieve a beautiful memory.
right now, i'm listening to i'm yours by jason mraz.
i had a wonderful memory with this song.
it was christmas season.
and it was the only song that was playing the whole night.
i couldn't sleep. but i was hesitant to wake up this special guy beside me
to ask him to turn it off. he must have really like "i'm yours".
don't think about my puyat that night. i just felt great.
it was...it was just ineffable.