cheater reader

have you ever cheated on finding out
the ending of the story first
before finishing the book?

i have commited that " crime" this morning.
well, this is my first time to commit this grave sin.
i felt guilty for the author.
she wrote an interesting plot, really in the now lines,
steven tyler as a character,a gay guy as bestfriend
and a lingerie sales girl as the star.
so what's bad about it?
well, the thing is, i am on the one-hundredth page already
i just felt frustrated on who will she end up with.
it has too many characters that i felt anxious about it.
what's it going to be???
but luckily, it has a nice ending.
well, it is sort of a romantic but quite serious novel.
huh? what did i just say?
hey author, strangle me.

what are other books that i haven't finished yet
for the longest time already?
hmmm..there's human bondage by maugham
and the bell jar by sylvia plath.
but i am not tempted to look at the ending.
well, the thing is, the books that i have mentioned
has really sad stories from authors whom well, led a sad life.
my defense: i want to absorb more and ponder on
what were they trying to point out and maybe suffer.
instead of reading the ending and just finding out that
living and existence has no point and that happiness is crap.
uhm, i really don't know yet.
since plath killed herself
and that maugham grew up living miserable with his relatives.
come on, these are classics.sad. high art.
darn, now i remember the stranger by camus.
it's even more dark. but i don't really know
if albert camus was as miserable as sylvia.
you have to admit that what is true to you
is your inspiration.
i asked my professor in film class once
if it is possible for a director to make such a film
that he really doesn't believe in.
example, if a director is an aetheist
but is making a film about miracles of a certain religion.
he said that it would be interesting and it falls under the
category of constructivism in art in which i will not discuss.haha.
he only said that directors are usually believers of their craft.
oh well, this is laid back sunday.
i can say that this day has a really nice ending.