sleepless at jopet's

i still can't doze off.
six more hours and i'll prepare for office again.
someone told me that there there are two possibilities
that will occur to a person
if he's been lacking sleep for a long time.
either he'll die of a heart attack or he'll live longer.
i think that person actually used the word "immortal".
nah, i do not want to risk it whether i become immortal
or i'll just drop dead somewhere.

i remember the film " the science of sleep".
the main character was played by gael garcia bernal.
this is one of those surreal movies
that makes you cringe occasionally,
will leave you with questions,
will annoy you from unbelievable events
you are basically "tormenting" yourself
from trying to grasp what the film is all about.
gael is good looking,i'll give you that.
but he plays the part of an eccentric guy.
i really do not want to see him go all crazy all the time.
too bad, i finished the film already.
and yes, it left me with my head hurting.
much worse than a chocolate migraine.
a headache and a bad back.that baaad.

i have this book entitled sleepless in manila.
i am not sure if i already blogged about this but
it is a compilation of filipino writers who wrote
essays about lack of sleep.
the majority of the authors are insomniacs.
one writer wrote that national heroes
or great men are most likely to be insomniacs.
the writer specifically mentioned was
jose rizal for his numerous and great achievements
in a span of short years.
i believe so.

i can stay up late.
i can stare at the walls and enjoy the silence.
i can fathom on decisions that has to be made.
i can think of fresh ideas.
i can eat a lot during late hours.
but excerting more muscle other than thinking
and masticating food is usually almost impossible.
i have a bad back really, i need to rest it
so i can work during day time.

everytime i see my sculptures,
i cannot almost believe that i finished
every piece in such short time.
i can work with no sleep
and always under my adrenalin way back then.
four years ago....
is this old age or i just lack motivation?
do i have chronic laziness now?

i have tons of plans for my assemblage.
but until now,
all i are stacks of garbage in my room to sleep with.


it's almost daytime.
good morning, people.

(be)friend me

do i still have friends?
okay i was half wishing that the motel party will be moved
so i can attend the officemate's birthday celebration this saturday night.
i know i am awful to even think about ditching my friends.
but someone cancelled due to octoBEER fest IN september.
i am saved.and the two of them will have dinner instead.

i am off the hook.
i can go to the officemate's bash.
but then again i felt tired
and sleepy that i have to call it a day.
i checked on my bestfriend who had dinner with our gay friend.
and i'll say this again,our gay friend.
my.gay.friend.too.ok?
we only have one gay friend that we share,
so it is important.
she said they ate at this indian restaurant near their place.
i said how come you never took me to that place, anyway?
she said i always come late so that resto is closed already.
okay they enjoyed dinner.
fine.
so you are supposed to have that thing with your officemates tonight huh?
i'm gonna call (insert name) so we'll hangout and take pictures.
just the two of us.
and then i said fine.
enjoy taking pictures of her back, okay?
it's always that same back pose.
enjoy.enjoy.

i am even horrible to just text a friend who is leaving for Germany
three days ago because i was too tired that night.
he left without texting me back.
it was my fault.
and i won't be seeing him for almost two years.
i am awful.

this morning i texted another friend and said,
psst.miss na kita.
three hours after that and still no reply from her.
another message i sent to a friend that says
congratulations on your baby angel.
God bless.i even thought of asking
if he till wants me to be a godmother to his daughter
but after two hours of that, still no reply.
i sent another message that says,
you should watch this movie when harry met sally.
the humor is so like yours.and no reply, surprised still?

i am itching to make a phone call right now.
but it will be too painful if my friend teacher is
a) sleeping b)busy grading papers or c)out watching a movie

oh my...
have i have become boring?
given that i do not have social life,
am i drab to hangout with?
should i learn tap dance to make people smile nowadays?
somebody please,
hangout with me.

Salivating Saturday

Since weekends are for families,
you are my family.
My sister told me yesterday
while we were waiting for our baby back ribs
with Mustard Bourbon sauce.
we love to try new restos.
and the search for the good food is always exciting.
and this lazy Saturday,
we ended up dining in Myron's Steaks Ribs
and Seafoods resto in Rockwell.
quite pricey for a pauper like me.
i felt like a man when our food was served.
that big slab of red meat is really something.
i can almost hear James Hetfield's growl and say
"This is a good piece of MEAT".
the ribs is tender, sweet,a bit spicy with mild touch of herbs.
the mustard is just right.
the grilled slice of tomato and the sauteed carrots in butter
really complemented the juicy ribs.
i enjoyed lunch.
though it is quite disappointing that the
grilled tomato, carrots and asparagus
are the regular garnish in
every main course.
oh well, our food trip doesn't end there.

i finally fell in love with cupcakes.
i am honestly disappointed with Sonja cupcakes
and others that i have already tried.
i didn't even attempted to have a taste of Baker's Dozen
because what they're offering
is something that you've already tasted
or at least you have an idea what it'll taste like.
thoguh they do have cute visuals to start with.

this certain cupcake that i fell in love with has a hint of cocktails in it.
liquor might not be one of the best ingredient in your sweets
but what they have is just mild kick in it.
they do also have interesting description of what they really put.
i have tired their cosmopolitan and bailey's cupcakes.
the lady beside me is crazy for their margharita and pinacolada.
alas,i forgot the name of their store and they didn't put anything in their
containers in case you go gaga and you want more of it!
i'll definitely go back to Rockwell
just to sink my teeth in those yummy cupcakes again.
(i'll post that cosmopolitan cupcake soon for you guys to salivate with).

after a few minutes of sugar rush,
i then ended my food story with
blackberry green tea frappuccino.

i do love this Saturday....

Salivating Saturday

Since weekends are for families,
you are my family.
My sister told me yesterday
while we were waiting for our baby back ribs
with Mustard Bourbon sauce.
we love to try new restos.
and the search for the good food is always exciting.
and this lazy Saturday,
we ended up dining in Myron's Steaks Ribs
and Seafoods resto in Rockwell.

quite pricey for a pauper like me.
i felt like a man when our food was served.
that big slab of red meat is really something.
i can almost hear James Hetfield's growl and say
"This is a good piece of MEAT".
the ribs is tender, sweet,a bit spicy with mild touch of herbs.
the mustard is just right.
the grilled slice of tomato and the sauteed carrots in butter
really complemented the juicy ribs.
i enjoyed lunch.
though it is quite disappointing that the
grilled tomato, carrots and asparagus
are the regular garnish in
every main course.
oh well, our food trip doesn't end there.

i finally fell in love with cupcakes.
i am honestly disappointed with Sonja cupcakes
and others that i have already tried.
i didn't even attempted to have a taste of Baker's Dozen
because what they're offering
is something that you've already tasted
or at least you have an idea what it'll taste like.
but they do have cute visuals to start with.

this certain cupcake that i fell in love with
has a hint of cocktails in it.
liquor might not be one of the best ingredient in your sweets
but what they have is just mild kick in it.
they do also have interesting description of what they really put.
i have tired their cosmopolitan and bailey's cupcakes.
the lady beside me is crazy for their margarita and pinacolada.
alas,i forgot the name of their store and
they didn't put anything in their
containers in case you go gaga and you want more of it!
i'll definitely go back to Rockwell
just to sink my teeth in those yummy cupcakes again.
(i'll post that cosmopolitan cupcake soon
for you guys to salivate with).

after a few minutes of sugar rush,
i then ended my food story with
blueberry green tea frapuccino from Starbucks.

i do love this Saturday....

sining opening

Sana maka-attend ako sa opening ng exhibit na ito.

motel and slutty clothes

i am quite excited about our Motel Party tonight.
three girls and one gay guy is hot enough i think.
haha. i do have "crazy" friends.
do i have enough slutty clothes for this sizzling saturday night?
i do not think so.
but my friend begged to disagree.
she said i have enough for the four of us.
oh well, we'll see!
oh, i'll definitely wear my fishnet stockings!

lost and lost

I'm not good with fights or arguments.
i may argue wrongly and may say things that i do not mean.
maybe out of anger, that makes me a liar...

in my own self assesment,
my actions are more rue.
if i'm too sissy to say what i feel,
i may show it in a different way.
pag mahal kita, ipapakita ko.
i am too scared to say what i feel
because it is such a gamble.
i do not want to see rejection in the eyes of the guy i love.
i may never recover from the picture...

i am difficult to understand and i confuse myself at times.
but i also give myself some slack sometimes.
i grew tired of confusion.
pero marami palang bagay na dapat sinasabi
at hindi lang ipinaparamdam.
kailangan ko rin ng assurance.
at kailangan ko ring malaman kung wala.


i am not mad anymore...
i am just so honestly sad...

KIMBAP DAY

xandi and i loves to celebrate.
if there's a reason to drink liquor
and indulge on food--we do it.
we already had our pizza party.
i think we're the ones who started
the hair party way back in college.
maarte na kung maarte
but we celebrate joys of friendship
or we are just plain silly and we love to have fun!


and for this year specifically tomorrow,
we'll prepare kimbap.

all the kimbap that we can eat to fatten ourselves...
once again, this is the good life...

rice gurl's prayers and diet dilemma

102 lbs is no joke for me.
i gained 4 lbs this year.
i am not weight obsessed
but the clothes i wear are just the right sizes
so i cannot afford to gain a lot.
it is not a matter of vanity but a matter of budget.
i cannot afford to buy new wardrobe to go with my bigger size.

but screw it now,
i had fever for three days and cannot afford to take sick leaves.
now, this freaking weird spasm in my chest is bugging me.
i lost my health card so i cannot visit the doctor this month.
i just have to eat.
that's all i can do for now.
crazy me.
if mom knows about this,
she'll drag me to the doctor.
she panics a lot anyway.

it is quite odd that there comes a time
that most problems arise in one period.
obstacles towards happiness...

my only daily prayers for myself is that
i thank our creator that i was able
to finish each day no matter how hard or easy it is.
that i do not get sick often and that i am always safe.

whatever happens,
I thank God for every trial.
he has plans for me
and every task he gives me will only make me stronger...

out of frustration

there are a lot of things that i am frustrated about.
am i beginning to turn my blog in to a toxic one?
but we all do get frustrated and sad.
i feel it everytime i see the peace of paper on my wall that says
"buong pusong pag-aalay ng sarili para sa bayan- UP".
I have to be empowered to be able to do that
and i know there are a lot of ways.
i am not trying hard enough.
but another thing that made me more sad
was that the news regarding our college.
a lot of issues arises and maybe power grabbing
and finance issues are involved.
sana lang maisip lang nila na kung hindi ka makatulong,
huwag mo namang tulungang patayin ang unibersidad
na kumakalinga parin sayo.
alam mo na ngang mahirap lang ang college natin,
pero yung magpahirap ka pa sa sitwasyon e magisip-isip ka naman.
sana lang mas united tayo towards something
more strong and productive.
yung makikinabang tayo.
charity case na nga magturo sa UP e.
mahuhusay na propesor na maliit lang ang mga sweldo.
teaching is a noble job,
and the professors in this university is so passionate about their field.
tapos against pa kayo sa mga tamang layunin nila?
do you know how many national artist came from UPCFA?
almost half of the total number.
Ilan ang art school sa Pilipinas?
tangina, ang hirap na nga mag survive sa art world,
nagkakagulo pa...