(be)friend me

do i still have friends?
okay i was half wishing that the motel party will be moved
so i can attend the officemate's birthday celebration this saturday night.
i know i am awful to even think about ditching my friends.
but someone cancelled due to octoBEER fest IN september.
i am saved.and the two of them will have dinner instead.

i am off the hook.
i can go to the officemate's bash.
but then again i felt tired
and sleepy that i have to call it a day.
i checked on my bestfriend who had dinner with our gay friend.
and i'll say this again,our gay friend.
my.gay.friend.too.ok?
we only have one gay friend that we share,
so it is important.
she said they ate at this indian restaurant near their place.
i said how come you never took me to that place, anyway?
she said i always come late so that resto is closed already.
okay they enjoyed dinner.
fine.
so you are supposed to have that thing with your officemates tonight huh?
i'm gonna call (insert name) so we'll hangout and take pictures.
just the two of us.
and then i said fine.
enjoy taking pictures of her back, okay?
it's always that same back pose.
enjoy.enjoy.

i am even horrible to just text a friend who is leaving for Germany
three days ago because i was too tired that night.
he left without texting me back.
it was my fault.
and i won't be seeing him for almost two years.
i am awful.

this morning i texted another friend and said,
psst.miss na kita.
three hours after that and still no reply from her.
another message i sent to a friend that says
congratulations on your baby angel.
God bless.i even thought of asking
if he till wants me to be a godmother to his daughter
but after two hours of that, still no reply.
i sent another message that says,
you should watch this movie when harry met sally.
the humor is so like yours.and no reply, surprised still?

i am itching to make a phone call right now.
but it will be too painful if my friend teacher is
a) sleeping b)busy grading papers or c)out watching a movie

oh my...
have i have become boring?
given that i do not have social life,
am i drab to hangout with?
should i learn tap dance to make people smile nowadays?
somebody please,
hangout with me.